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Monday, March 3, 2008

Ask Marvin - Tradition vs. Trend

Dear Marvin,
I'm a modern bride getting married in an old-fashioned church. My bridesmaids really want to wear strapless dresses. I must admit, they are the most flattering on all of their figures, and really cute. The problem is my mom is driving me crazy about how inappropriate it would be, and how upset it will make my grandmother. I'm not even sure if strapless or halter dresses are allowed in the church. But, my bridesmaids are footing the bill and I feel awkward telling them they have to buy something they hate. What should I do? I don't want to upset my family or church, but I don't want to upset my friends either.
Help!

Signed,
Strapped with Confusion

Dear Strapped,
First off, it is your wedding day and your friends are there to support you as part of your special day. If that means wearing a yellow feathered dress to a carnival themed wedding, so be it. That's what friends are for. That said, it is lovely (and so un-bridezilla) of you to listen to their desires. I happen to agree that it is better for all, and far less stressful on friendships, when bridesmaids are happy. But it is not good for anyone when mothers and grandmothers are upset; and it is certainly never good etiquette to be disrespectful in places that many hold sacred.
Lucky for you, I have just the solution to your problem and it doesn't require upsetting anyone. If you are having an evening or Fall or Winter wedding, give each of your bridesmaids a pashmina (or similar) wrap as a thank you gift. Buy the wraps in a color that coordinates with your wedding and the dresses so they can wear it during the ceremony. After, they can take it off at the reception and party in their pretty strapless gowns. They come away with a lovely gesture that they can actually wear again (I don't care what anyone says: NO ONE wears a bridesmaid dress twice, just ask Goodwill). You get to be the bride that saved the day; and who doesn't love playing hero! If you are having a spring or summer wedding and a wrap would be to warm, you could achieve the same affect with a cute bolero jacket.

Best wishes,
Marvin

Photo courtesy of The Memory Journalists
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