We have all heard of the Monster-in-Law (being your mother-in-law). But my story is a little different. I get along wonderfully with my soon to be MIL, it is my soon to be SIL I'm having the trouble with. She is the baby of the family and the only girl. She has always been the princess of the family and from my understanding any girl that her brother has ever brought home she has made trouble for. I thought things were going to be different for her and I because we got along really great right up until my fiance and I got engaged. Ever since then she has become an absolute terror! She makes fun of us when we talk about the wedding, ridicules my choices, doesn't want to participate, and the minute someone brings up the wedding she does everything she can to change the subject or bring the attention back to her. I am at my wit's end with this behavior! My FI and I have talked about it but he just says she isn't used to not being the center of attention and will get over it. Which really frustrates me because I don't want to be dealing with this for the next 9 months of my engagement! I know it's not all about us but I would like to look back on this time as joyful not contentious! Can you offer me any suggestions?
Distraught Over In-Laws
Dear Distraught,
Dealing with the in-laws can always be tough. It is hard because even though they do become your family there is always an adjustment period. It becomes even more difficult to adjust to when you have a family member that wants to make it difficult for you. When it comes to dealing with your new family you and your FI really have to be on the same page. That will be one of the important factors in creating your own family. It sounds like to me that your SIL is going through a growing period. If she is used to being the center of attention and the only girl it can be difficult to share that spotlight. My best advice to you is to sit down and have a heart to heart with your FI. Make sure he understands exactly how you are feeling. Ask him how he would like to deal with the situation. And create a gameplan. Figure out what your limits are and how much guff you are willing to take. Chances are you SIL will eventually get over it and jump on the bandwagon but if she doesn't it really does fall to your FI to take control of the situation. There are growing pains for everyone when they get married. Keep smiling and keep planning and keep your eye on what is truly important; the love of you and your FI.
Best of luck!
Marvin
Photo courtesy of The Memory Journalists
1 comment:
Ah...the in laws. What have I learned from my new family? Well, I have learned that ALL families have there own dynamics and typically those dynamics are not what you are used to! Each member of the "new" family needs to be patient and understanding of one another. This new family is just another part of the whole adjustment period as a new bride. Give enough time for things to settle...and remember, people will treat you how you allow them to treat you. It is in every family member's best interest to set healthy bounderies and stick to them. I'm a big fan of healthy bounderies! :)
Post a Comment