Survey Says - Did You And Your Fiance Have Debt?

Did you and/or your fiancé go into your marriage bringing debt? How did you handle that?

Yes we did, but we knew about it and talked about ultimate goals and future and retirement and are dealing with paying off debt. - Michelle, married March 2007

Some…we are a team now, my debt is his and his is mine. We consolidated and made a plan for what we wanted to do, and how we were going to get there. But we didn’t have anything out of control either, so it wasn’t hard to do this. - Melanie, married June 2007

We both have some debt. And now the wedding debt. We are both well aware of what debt we had and how we are paying for it. - Bree, married November 2007

Yes we both had debt, but that had already been out in the open from when we first moved in together. Once I moved in, we combined everything to simplify our finances. It's worked out great. We started a retirement plan and got life insurance in place as well. - Tina, married January 2008

Photo courtesy of Sharpe Photographers

Survey Says - Did You Take Your Husband's Last Name?

Did you take your husband's last name? If so, when did you change it and was the process difficult? If not, how did your husband react to you not taking his last name?

I did not take my husbands last name, it is Smith and we already have problems with his identity being stolen. He was fine with it although I told him if he wanted me to I would change my name. Also keep in mind I am 47 and although this is my first marriage, my identity and career are tied up in my maiden name. It would be different if we were going to have children, but we are not. - Michelle, married March 2007

I did take his name, and I waited to start the process until after we got back from the honeymoon since we traveled out of the country, and we know how tough it can be to travel these days, so I didn’t want to get caught with one form of ID with one name, and another form with a different name. I am still working on changing my name, and probably will for some time, but all of the major stuff is done. A friend emailed me with this website that made it super easy to get the process started, it helped a great deal. (www.angelfire.com/ma/dnsassoc/need.html and www.angelfire.com/ma/dnsassoc/tools.html).- Melanie, married June 2007

I did take my husband’s last name and I made the change the week we got back from our honeymoon. The process of changing my name was not difficult, it was just time consuming. - Nona, married August 2007

Yes, I changed my last name, but to Brown-Kinell because I have a business with my maiden name. My husband was perfectly fine with whatever I did, however I know it makes him proud that I wanted his last name. Yes, the process was very difficult, especially if you own your own business because not only does your personal stuff have to be changed, but all of the business stuff too. -Lauren, married May 2007

I have not changed my name at this time, but I may add his last name in the future. My husband encouraged me to choose the name I felt most comfortable with, while insisting that he prefers me to keep my name the way it was when we first met. - Amanda, married October 2007

Photo courtesy of Sharpe Photographers

Survey Says - What Has Been the Most Challenging Issue As Newlyweds?

What has been the most challenging issue as a newlywed (combining money, living together, etc.)?

Since we had been living together for more than a year before we were married, our wedding was more a celebration of our love and commitment to one another than a new beginning. However, in the first year of living together, our most difficult task we encountered was sharing space. It is important to allow an adjustment period for both people to get used to the new situation. Make sure to talk about expectations and goals before the wedding in order to avoid any surprise issues during that transitional time. - Amanda, married October 2008

We are really trying to save up to purchase a house, so I think combining all our bills and knowing when they are due as has been our biggest obstacle. - Julie, married September 2007

My husband is pretty domestic, but I'd say we pick on each other about our messiness more than anything else. - Tina, married January 2008

Becoming more "family oriented". -Lisa, arried September 2008

Photo courtesy of The Memory Journalists

Survey Says - Did You Get Help With Your Budget?

Did you get help from friends and/or family with respect to budget?

My mother gave me $15,000 towards the event. – Michelle, married March 2007

Yes, both dad’s helped. - Melanie, married June 2007

Yes, my father paid for the entire wedding day. My husband’s parents paid for the honeymoon and rehearsal dinner (not included in the budget) and my mother paid for all the excursion the week before the wedding (not included in the budget). – Lauren, married May 2007

Both sides of our families were able to contribute to our wedding, which was very helpful and much appreciated. Also, my mom made decorative table runners out of a fabric I chose. Not only did that help us save on decorative costs, but I have beautiful mementos of our wedding to use for decoration in our own home. The runners also made perfect gifts for family and friends after the wedding! – Amanda, married October 2007

My parents helped with most of our wedding, and my mother-in-law helped with the rehearsal dinner and also gave a little bit extra to help out. – Julie, married September 2007

Photo courtesy of The Memory Journalists

Survey Says - What Was the Biggest Way You Cut Costs?

What was the biggest way you cut costs for your wedding? Would you do this again or would you have spent more in this area?

We didn’t do a wedding video because we are an older couple (47 and 51) with no children and after watching other videos and talking to our married friends we found out of the 10 couples we talked to only one actually watched the video more than once and they only watched it on their first anniversary and they have been married 20 years. - Michelle, married March 2007

We used people we knew for certain aspects of the wedding. I have a friend that did our invitations; Nate and his dad are musicians, so we had a live band of people that they knew so they cut us a deal on what a band normally would have costed; my bridesmaids and other friends who are already married were a great source of information for ways to cut down on costs, and what is and is not worthwhile on the do-it-yourself stuff. – Melanie, married June 2007

We made our own centerpieces. Yes, I think it was a good use of money & time. Also, the wedding was in Mexico, so this was the only way I could ensure that we would be happy with the outcome of the centerpieces. – Lauren, married May 2007

We limited our guest list so that we could have the type of wedding we wanted on a budget we could afford. In retrospect, I am completely happy with how we handled the guest list with respect to our budget and would not change a thing. - Amanda, married October 2007

Photo courtesy of Sharpe Photographers

Survey Says - Did You Exceed Your Budget?

Did you exceed your budget? If so, by how much (percentage is fine)?

By about $15,000.00. - Michelle, married March 2007

We exceeded the amount given to us by about $10,000. - Nona, married August 2007

Yes, by $7,000. - Lauren, married May 2007

We did exceed our budget by about $1000. - Amanda, married October 2007

We were $2K over the amount that my parents gave us, but we really didn’t have a budget.
- Julie, married September 2007

Oh yes. By about $8,000. - Bree, married November 2007

Photo courtesy of Profinish Design

Survey Says - Were You Happy With the Overall Event?

Were you happy with the overall event?

Definitely. We wanted a wedding where we had a good time, but more importantly that our guests had a good time. We’ve heard from a lot of our guests that ours was the best wedding they had ever been too, so we considered it mission accomplished. – Julie, married September 2007

Happy doesn't even describe it. Everything was perfect. – Lauren, married May 2007

I couldn't have been happier - seriously, planning ahead every last detail is worth it - over plan! – Erin, married October 2003

YES YES YES – it was the best and most beautiful day of our lives, and we got to share it with the people we love. It makes me so happy when people tell me, even now, what a wonderful time they had at our wedding. That was the whole idea. – Hannah, married September 2006

Photo courtesy of Sharpe Photographers

Survey Says - What Did You Spend Too Much Time On? (Part 2)

What did you spend a lot of time on that you wish you hadn't? (part 2)

Nothing. I loved planning it all. - Jennifer, married May 2006

The programs. They wound up not being set out, so nobody even got them! But I don’t know that they missed them either. Also, reserving blocks of hotel rooms for the guests. Most of our guest either didn’t use them, or made them too late for your group rate anyways.
- Julie, married September 2007
Worrying? Not sleeping??;) - Hannah, married September 2006
The gifts for bridesmaids were totally over the top and I wish that I wouldn’t have spent so much time finding something different for each of them.
- Nona, married August 2007

Nothing I can think of, but I do wish that I spent more time on our vows. We put those together the night before…I wouldn't recommend it.
- Kelley, married July 2006

Worrying about family issues, not worth the money.
- Michelle, married March 2007

I was really set on buying my bridesmaid dresses online or at a major department store. My main goal was to have dresses that would be wearable after the wedding and not over priced. I wish I would have just ordered from a boutique and saved all the time and energy of searching for the “right” dresses.
- Amanda, married October 2007

Photo courtesy of The Memory Journalists

Survey Says - What Did You Spend Too Much Time On? (Part 1)

What did you spend a lot of time on that you wish you hadn't? (part 1)

Cake topper, my bridesmaid broke it on accident, 5 minutes before the wedding. Always have a backup if it's important to you.
- Rebecca, married July 2003

I made our own programs for the church part of the wedding and I took so long to do them and no one really noticed or even kept them after the ceremony. I could have saved some time and stress. But also, I don't know if I would have had them done professionally because why spend a lot of money on something that no one really looks at or keeps for very long?
-Erin, married October 2003

I spent a lot of time looking for shoes. I kept telling myself that it didn’t matter, because no one sees my shoes. But my mother insisted that I have nice shoes, and unfortunately I gave into the pressure. If I were to do it over again, I would have spent $5 and worn flip flops.
- Alison, married October 2007

I spent a lot of time on the place cards. I loved how they looked in the end but all the layers and detail took too much time the week before the wedding. I should have started earlier.
- Kirsten, married September 2006

Photo courtesy of Sharpe Photographers

Survey Says - What was Your Total Budget?

What was your total budget? Does that include your honeymoon and rings?

My dad and stepmom and Nate’s dad and stepmom took care of the wedding and reception. We paid for our own honeymoon, and the rings we bought as our Christmas gifts the year before the wedding. ---Melanie, married June 2007

Each set of parents gave us $10,000. This did not include the rings and the honeymoon. --Nona, married August 2007

$20,000. No, that doesn't include either. -- Lauren, married May 2007

We originally set a goal of $15,000. I know that is a little low (comparatively) these days, but I am quite a savvy girl and I was convinced I could do it. Not too long into the planning process we decided to increase our budget to a more realistic figure of $20,000, which did not include our honeymoon or rings. My engagement ring was a gift to my husband and myself from his grandfather (the ring had belonged to my husband’s grandmother). -- Amanda, married October 2007

All in all, we wound up paying around $30k for everything. -- Julie, married September 2007

Honestly we didn't really set a number. In hindsight we should have. He bought my rings so he set that budget (my e-ring and wedding band cost about $1500). I bought his so I set that budget ($600). We tried to stay around $25,000. -- Bree, married November 2007

Photo courtesy of Sharpe Photographers

Survey Says - Did You Live With Your Fiance First?

Did you live with your fiancé before you got married? If so, do you think this helped into the transition as newlyweds? If not, did you have any surprises as you moved into together that you’d share with another future bride?

Yes, I think it helped with the transition of the day to day living together stuff, but I think it also takes away from all the "new" things our parents/grandparent experienced. I think that's why so many newlyweds are so upset over the excitement”of the wedding being gone because life is back to normal for those of us who have already experienced cohabitating with your husband.
- Lauren, married May 2007

We did live to together before the wedding and I firmly believe that it helped with the transition as newlyweds. It would have been more difficult sharing a living space while adjusting to sharing everything else as a married couple had we not had some practice beforehand.
- Amanda, married October 2007

I did live with my fiancé before the wedding; however we also had a roommate up until a month before the wedding. I think it was helpful in that it was one less thing to stress us - we didn’t have to deal with moving on top of the wedding. And having our roommate move out close to the wedding made it different enough that we could feel like were starting our own life together.
- Julie, married September 2007

No we didn't live together. The surprise to me has been that this man who was so self sufficient before we got married is suddenly not! Weird. Also I didn't realize what a neat freak I was until I moved in with my messy hubby.
- Bree, married November 2007

Photo courtesy of The Memory Journalists

Survey Says - Is There Anything You Can Share As A Newly Married Wife?

Is there anything you can share as a newly married wife that would help future brides?

Don’t sweat the small stuff. Remember why you fell in love in the first place; as all relationships do change as life does, marriage shouldn’t be one of those things. This is an opportunity to tell the world that you are a team, you are there for each other, and you love each other. I don’t understand the relationships that change immediately after marriage…does that mean you didn’t really know the person that you were marrying? Have fun, enjoy life.
- Melanie, married June 2007

In the midst of all the decisions to be made and the day to day stressors of planning such an important event, remember that the whole purpose of your wedding is to celebrate the love and commitment of two people who found each other is this great big world. How amazing is that?! Your wedding shouldn’t be the source of strife between you and your fiancé (or anyone else for that matter!). Try to maintain perspective in challenging situations. Hey, if the worst thing that happens is you end up married to your best friend, lucky you!
- Amanda, married October 2007

Keep your sense of humor. Your new husband may do things that you do not understand!
- Jennifer, married September 2007

Because I started a new job right after the wedding, the hardest thing has been adjusting to my new hours- I get home later than I used to, and the last thing I want to do is cook dinner every night. My husband has been really good about helping prepare meals and getting them started so that I don’t have to do it all, and we aren’t eating at 8:00 every night. Being able to say when we each need some help has been really helpful.
- Julie, married September 2007

Be kind. The words that you say in anger will never go away. And although you may forgive you won't be able to easily forget. And remember, you don't have to be the perfect little wifey. He didn't marry you for that. He married you because he loved you, not your baking skills!
- Bree, married November 2007

Photo courtesy of Sharpe Photographers

Survey Says - What Was the Biggest Expense Of Your Wedding?

What was the biggest expense of your wedding? Would you say now it was worth it?

The venue we chose (Arden Hills Country Club) cost a lot, but they took care of so much (ceremony site, reception site, catering, bar, wedding coordinator, tiramisu). - Melanie, June 2007
The place we got married. It included every thing though so I believe it was worth it. (ie. Ceremony site, receptions site, dinner buffet, drinks, and an overnight stay for our wedding party including brunch and coffee the next morning). - Nona, married August 2007

The cocktail party before the wedding. I wasn't there, but the pictures are great so, yes, it was worth it. - Lauren, married May 2007
The biggest expense of our wedding was the photography (The Memory Journalists). It was definitely worth it! - Amanda, married October 2007
The biggest expense was the venue and the food. I do think it was worth it because the service was awesome, and it really set the tone for the kind of party we were hoping to have. I’m sure we could have had a nice wedding someplace cheaper, but I was very happy with our decision. - Julie, married September 2007

Photo courtesy of Sharpe Photographers

Survey Says - What Did You Use To Track Your Budget?

What did you use to track your budget? Did you have a worksheet, planner or something on your computer?

I kept track of expenses myself with a notebook. I did not use anything on the computer or the internet. - Nona, married August 2007

We used an Excel worksheet that we created.
- Lauren, married May 2007

Yes. A friend of mine, who is an event coordinator, loaded a wedding planning program (Easy Wedding Planning) on my computer which allowed me to keep track of all expenditures.
- Amanda, married October 2007

I used an Excel spreadsheet. - Jennifer, married September 2007

We kept track of what were spending, but I found website worksheets to be grossly off base of what things really cost. It was very difficult to try to base a budget off the worksheets I found in books and on websites. - Julie, married September 2007

I tracked everything we spent on paper. My mom and I tracked each expense.
- Bree, married November 2007

Photo courtesy of Allison Stahl Photography

Survey Says - Did You Go Into Your New Marriage With Debt?

Did you and your fiancé go into your new marriage with debt from your wedding? Was this an issue in any way?

Nope, everything was paid for. Had we been responsible for paying for any more of the wedding that we did, we would have had a much different wedding than we did (thank you dads!)
--Melanie, married June 2007

We did and do have debt from the wedding but it has not been an issue between the two of. We are just annoyed how long it is taking us to pay back! --Nona, married August 2007

I would consider myself a bit more frugal than my newly acquired husband. We have had a few disagreements regarding finances with relation to our wedding. In the end though, I don’t know where we could have cut costs. I wouldn’t want to change a single thing.
--Amanda, married October 2007

We did put a lot of stuff on a credit card specifically for the wedding, rather than saving and purchasing with cash. I wish we would have been a little better at that.
--Julie, married September 2007

Photo courtesy of Allison Stahl Photography

Survey Says - What Went Wrong, If Anything?

What went wrong at your wedding, if anything? And knowing now, was there anything you'd recommend to others to avoid those pitfalls?

I thought that everything went really well. I have been in many weddings and tried to learn from others mistakes.
-Shari Miller, married June 2005

I was short over a 100 flowers, the caterer did not listen to what I had asked for or look at the written/illustrated instructions. I didn't have a table set up for vendors as planned. The caterer did not bring everything that I dropped off to them the day prior. After deciding on a caterer, but before signing a contract or paying, I would do a "second round" interview to make sure they are exactly what they say they are. I would also call and ask questions to make sure they can answer them "on the fly" and make sure you truly feel 100% comfortable.
-Kate Pohl, married July 2007

Nothing that I know of. If anything did go wrong, no one told me.
-Rosie Parket, married May 2006

I would recommend bringing a Tide stick! Also, I would have asked the photographer to take more pictures of our guests dancing and enjoying themselves.
- Nona Moore, married August 2007

The weather was the hottest day in Sacramento history! Not much you can do about it, but definitely would have changed that.
- Kelley Lincoln, married July 2006

Photo courtesy of Sharpe Photographers

Survey Says - If You Had A Budget, Did You Stay Within It?

If you had a budget set, did you stay within it?

I was lucky, and didn’t get one from my dad, even though I asked him for one. I know not having one from him probably meant that there were some things that I probably spent more on than I should have because I didn’t have that figure set.
-Melanie Perkins, married June 2007

We did have a budget and we did not stay within it. We were a few thousand dollars over.
-Nona Henson, married August 2007

Although we did have a reasonable budget set initially, we soon realized that our budget did not cover the vision we had for our wedding. We decided to re-assess our needs and adjusted our budget to accommodate our wishes.
-Amanda Harlan, married October 2007

Kind of. My parents were giving us a certain amount of money, which mostly went to the venue and food. For everything else, we tried to keep the costs as low as we could, but really didn’t have a budget for those things.
-Julie Rivera, married September 2007

Photo courtesy of Sharpe Photographers

Survey Says - What Detail Did You Forget?

What detail did you forget on your wedding day?

Having a list of must have pictures; Having someone to hand out payments- we only had one, which is why I probably forgot. If you are going to be giving them out, have the checks with you and not down in your changing room.
- Julie, married in 2007

I didn't walk down the isle with my bouquet. DOH! - Jennifer, married in 2006

I forgot my husband's gift. - Rebecca, married in 2007

I totally forgot that somehow I needed to get my large bag of stuff from the church to the reception.
- Katie, married in 2007

It sounds silly, but I forgot to look at myself in the mirror when I was totally finished getting ready. It was like a whirlwind – a friend did my hair, another my makeup, and then about 4 people helped me dress – and then we just ran out the door! I wish I had remembered to take 2 seconds to admire myself as a bride!
- Hannah, married in 2006

We forgot to make a speech at the reception to thank our parents and our guests. We had planned for it but got wrapped up in the day and forgot.
- Kirsten, married in 2006

Photo courtesy of Allison Stahl Photography

Survey Says - What Guidance Would You Share?

What could you have used guidance on?

Etiquette, the traditional things (example: Addressing the invites).
- Rebecca, married in 2003

The only part of the process I needed and used guidance on was vendor selection. I carefully gathered references and found out who works well together and who worked well with me. If I had done the search blind, without bridal industry experts offering recommendations, I think I may have ended up with a different day-of product or maybe an anxiety attack!
- Alyssa, married in 2007

Our coordinator did a great job providing guidance on hiring all our vendors, and structuring our day – our minister did a great job of providing guidance for our relationship. Unfortunately, because of illness, my parents weren’t able to be as involved as I know they would have liked to; I would have loved having more of their perspective.
- Hannah, married in 2006

The timeline for the day was super important and I knew nothing about coordinating; help with coordinating some of the smaller details of the ceremony.
- Melanie, married in 2007
Photo courtesy of Sharpe Photographers

Survey Says - What Would You Change?

If you could do one thing over, what would it be? What would you do differently?

I might have closed the guest list to people I didn’t know. My husbands parents invited a lot of their friends who I didn’t know at all so I felt like there were strangers at our wedding. They paid for it, so I didn’t argue. They always wanted to celebrate with their friends so I let them have that -- Rosie, married in 2006

I probably could have bargain shopped for certain things more.
- Melanie, married in 2007

I would have better controlled my budget. I allowed my helpers a lot lee-way as far as spending money and I believe that is one of the reasons we went over budget. Although my day was exactly what I wanted I think I could have done it without going over my budget and not having to pay for it now.
- Bree, married in 2007

I would have spread out the morning schedule a little more to give extra time and avoid running late. And taking more pictures. But in the end, we were able to spend a lot of time with our guests and really enjoy our wedding, which is what we wanted.
- Julie, married in 2007

I would wear flip flops! Comfort on your wedding day should be a top priority.
- Alison, married in 2007

Photo courtesy of Sharpe Photographers