Tip - Protect Your Investment

Disclaimer: This post is not to scare you, it's purpose is to prepare you.

During this trying time in the economy you need to realize that there are wedding industry professionals that may not make it through this ebb and flow. You need to protect your investment in your wedding in as many ways as possible. We have heard many horror stories recently of couples that have lost their money and ordered products due to businesses forced to shut down. The repercussions are great at times, if there's not enough money or time to get things reordered before the wedding date.

Ways that you can protect yourself are:

1. Invest in wedding insurance.
2. Do not pay for items with cash (use a credit card preferably or check).
3. Work with professionals that have been in business for a number of years (those in business for 5+ years may have experienced economic ebb and flow before).
4. Choose professionals that your other contracted vendors recommend. (Most professionals know the news of who's going to be closing doors in their area before the public does.)
5. Be cautious when selecting a professional because they're offering the lowest price. They could be dropping their prices because they're attempting to bring in any business to help them stay afloat. (This isn't always the case, but just be cautious.)

Photo provided by The Memory Journalists

Tip - It Doesn't Hurt To Ask

If you have found a professional that you would love to work with, but your budget is lower than the packages they offer, be honest and ask for options before moving on. By letting the vendor know that you prefer to work with them over their competitors and informing them of what your budget constraints are, they may be willing to work with you to create a package that fits within your budget. If their service costs really don't allow them to come down on price, they will be honest and usually refer someone that can meet your spending goals.Photo provided by Sharpe Photographers

Tip - Ask Timely

Don't wait to ask your wedding party in person if you're having a hard time coordinating schedules. This is a tip that I learned most recently. I wanted to ask each of my bridesmaids in person to be a part of the wedding party because I felt it was an intimate thing that isn't appropriate to do over the phone. Well, sometimes busy lives don't always allow for face time and you don't want one friend hearing from another that they were invited to participate in the wedding weeks ago. If you can't get some face time, send an invitation to participate in the wedding with a personal note. This can still have the same thoughtful intimacy!

Check out these cute cards at Spoiled With Love.

Tip - Bridal Show Preparation

Bridal show participants aren't the only ones that need to prepare for the event. Here's a few ideas to help you get the most out of your bridal show attendance:

1. Bring a buddy (if your fiance is unavailable). It helps to have a buddy to pal around with for the day and they can gather info for you to review later so you don't have to stop at every booth.
2. Print informational stickers before hand (for drawings or to receive more information).
3. Wear comfortable shoes!
4. Know your goals. If there are certain vendors that you still need for your upcoming nuptials, be sure to stop, visit and gather info from all those applicable at the shows.
5. Keep two bags (yes and no) or devise a way to mark those vendors that you want to follow up with (folding the corner of their card for example). This will help you to organize your materials and thoughts later.

Can you think of any other tips for brides visiting upcoming shows? Leave your advice to save another bride from a long day.

See you on Sunday at the Dream Wedding Show! Cheers to you for getting a jump start on your wedding plans!

Photo provided by The Memory Journalists

Tip - Don't Let Marks Become Stains

Don't let a stain get you down! If you're worried about your bridesmaid or wedding dress having a lipstick smudge or dirt spots on it, know it doesn't have to become a permanent part of your dress. Martha Stewart Weddings has a stain removal checklist and how to chart that can also come in handy as a newlywed. Check it out!

Photo provided by The Memory Journalists

Tip - Take Notes

Family members and friends will have a lot of advice and suggestions as to how you can make sure your wedding day is a success. You will receive requested and also unsolicited advice. Take note of all the advice given, never making promises you may not follow through with. Save everyone's pieces of wisdom and use those that apply to you. Voice gratefulness to all those offering suggestions because they are trying to help.

Photo courtesy of Allison Stahl Photography

Couples Left Without Wedding Day Gifts

Recent brides and grooms are planning to stage a protest against, WrapIt, a gift registry firm who never followed through with the delivery of gifts and donations to approximately 2,000 couples, leaving around 100,000 guests without delivered gifts or refunds. According to Sky News, " Some of those brides and grooms will be wearing their wedding dresses and suits to march to HSBC headquarters this afternoon in an attempt to persuade the bank to fulfill the wedding list orders. WrapIt is blaming HSBC for its collapse because the bank is withholding its credit and debit card income."

We found this statement from a previous officer of the company, "I am now writing to you as the ex-MD of Wrapit plc, as I predicted in my last email. However, I am still very committed to trying to achieve the best possible resolution for Wrapit couples in this awful situation.

I had a meeting with the Wrapit plc receivers, KPMG, on Monday morning during which they informed me that they had met with HSBC and agreed that they would not fund Wrapit to deliver your gifts to you, but, instead, were going to go down the ‘refund the gift purchasers’ route favoured by the bank - regardless of the angst and inconvenience and embarrassment that this will cause to 2,000 couples and 60,000 gift buyers."

While WrapIt is a UK based company, this can happen anywhere. Be certain before registering with an online gift service that there is some sort of refund policy in place in the case of sudden closures.

Survey Says - Is There Anything You Can Share As A Newly Married Wife?

Is there anything you can share as a newly married wife that would help future brides?

Don’t sweat the small stuff. Remember why you fell in love in the first place; as all relationships do change as life does, marriage shouldn’t be one of those things. This is an opportunity to tell the world that you are a team, you are there for each other, and you love each other. I don’t understand the relationships that change immediately after marriage…does that mean you didn’t really know the person that you were marrying? Have fun, enjoy life.
- Melanie, married June 2007

In the midst of all the decisions to be made and the day to day stressors of planning such an important event, remember that the whole purpose of your wedding is to celebrate the love and commitment of two people who found each other is this great big world. How amazing is that?! Your wedding shouldn’t be the source of strife between you and your fiancé (or anyone else for that matter!). Try to maintain perspective in challenging situations. Hey, if the worst thing that happens is you end up married to your best friend, lucky you!
- Amanda, married October 2007

Keep your sense of humor. Your new husband may do things that you do not understand!
- Jennifer, married September 2007

Because I started a new job right after the wedding, the hardest thing has been adjusting to my new hours- I get home later than I used to, and the last thing I want to do is cook dinner every night. My husband has been really good about helping prepare meals and getting them started so that I don’t have to do it all, and we aren’t eating at 8:00 every night. Being able to say when we each need some help has been really helpful.
- Julie, married September 2007

Be kind. The words that you say in anger will never go away. And although you may forgive you won't be able to easily forget. And remember, you don't have to be the perfect little wifey. He didn't marry you for that. He married you because he loved you, not your baking skills!
- Bree, married November 2007

Photo courtesy of Sharpe Photographers

Tag, You're It - Flare

1. When I began planning my wedding, I was completely against having a veil. I didn’t believe in the traditional symbolism of the veil and was set against wearing one just because “all brides should wear a veil”. When I was buying my wedding dress, I changed my mind last minute and ordered the most beautiful, simple ivory veil, just in case of course. Now, I can’t even imagine my wedding day without my veil.
   


2. I cried at my Bridal Shower…let me explain: While browsing at a local antique store, my Aunt found an exact replica of my grandmother’s silver (my grandmother, an amazing woman, has been gone for over 15 years). Since her daughter, my cousin, was the recipient of that silver at her bridal shower, they decided to mix the two sets and randomly choose the pieces to complete each set. That way, both of us girls could share my grandmother’s silver. I was touched by the gesture, and moved by the memory of my grandmother, I enjoyed a good cry.
   


3. I decided against the tradition of choosing a Maid of Honor. I picked my three closest friends (one being my sister) and decided that they would all share the title of my most honored friends. My groom, following suite, did not choose a Best Man either. I believe there was some grumbling among a few, but in the end, everyone understood and supported our decision.
   


4. We decided to incorporate vows to our daughter during the ceremony, before our vow exchange. We presented her with an oval, silver locket, inscribed with a single initial. Since we had not told her she was going to be included in the ceremony (other than being a Jr. bridesmaid), she was so surprised and excited. We had so many compliments and most of our guests said that was their favorite part of the ceremony.
   


5. I actually wanted to elope rather than plan a big wedding. My husband is the one that wanted to have the whole big to do! Now, I am so happy that we had the wedding that we did. I definitely think I would have regretted all the experiences we had because we didn’t run away together.
   


6. I was up until 2am the night before writing my vows…talk about procrastination! I had planned on writing my vows in the weeks preceding the big day, but somehow I found more than plenty of tasks to fill up my time. We decided to read our vows together that night, in the quiet and peacefulness of our room…just the two of us. I am so happy we shared that moment. The next day was so busy, and happened so fast, I only vaguely remember our vow exchange.
   


7. My hairdresser was 45 min late the morning of my wedding…eek! Fortunately, I had prepared myself for just such a mishap. I couldn’t let myself become upset or distracted by (relatively) unimportant events on such an important day. When she finally arrived, she styled my hair perfectly. Although we were behind schedule for the rest of the day, and my anxiety level was a bit on the “high” side, we made it to the site only a few minutes behind schedule and started the wedding almost on time!
   


8. Several of our friends, my groom, and yours truly, got stuck in the elevator at our hotel the night of our wedding. I probably didn’t remain as calm as I could have, but I was not enjoying that moment in the least. I can truly say that I now understand the concept of panic. The elevator was reset and, after a short time, we arrived at the 1st floor... only mildly hysterical.

Photo courtesy of The Memory Journalists

Survey Says - What Should Someone Have Told You?

What is the one thing that you wish someone had told you when you got engaged? (Day #2)

Relax and have fun through it all! There will be moments of stress but don’t forget to enjoy both the planning and the day because it will fly by.
- Kirsten, married in 2006

Take some time to enjoy the happiness and relish in our new adventure. Don't start planning immediately (someone did tell me this)!
- Lauren, married in 2007

That you will get so tired of talking about the wedding with your fiancé! Make sure to make wedding free time with each other so you can remember why it is you wanted to get married in the first place!
- Melanie, married in 2007

There is one thing that I am extremely glad someone did tell me – to take little moments throughout the wedding day to just soak everything in, and make my own little private memories. Otherwise, it just flashes by – I treasure those little stolen moments most of all.
- Hannah, married in 2006

Photo courtesy of The Memory Journalists

Tag You're It--Wedding Style

Tag You're It with a twist--make this one all about your wedding! You have to write a blog with 10 weird, random things, facts, habits, or goals about anything to do with your whole wedding process--anything from engagement to relationship to planning to day of is open territory.

At the end you're supposed to choose 10 people to be tagged, but for this version I'll tag all the B2B girls and challenge them to really think about their answers...maybe some of the random info will actually help some bride to be's surfing the site.

If you aren't a B2B girl so you can't share your own random tidbits here, leave a comment with one or two things about your own experience...or consider becoming a B2B Girl!

1) I got engaged in Italy, and didn't tell my mom until the next day (and only then bc I called home for Christmas and felt guilty), and didn't tell anyone else until we got back weeks later. I just wanted the moment to belong only to us--nothing wrong with that!

2) I had my first dress fitting the day before the wedding and picked up my dress 5 hours before the ceremony. I had my (fabulous) dress custom made, but after deciding on the dress design and ordering the material, I moved the wedding date up 6 months! Can we say problemo! But the designers somehow managed to pull it off on an impossibly short time line. I knew not to sweat the small stuff and learned not to sweat the big stuff--everything always works out one way or another.

3) I got extensions for the wedding...they turned out AMAZING and looked oh so au natural, but can you say PAINFUL!! Not so much the process of putting them in, more the sleeping on them. Ouch...won't be doing that again.

4) We had a 6 month engagement and I think it was more than enough time. My wedding turned out spectacular, I got to enjoy the highlights of wedding planning...and be done with the stress sooner too! Don't feel like you have to have a long engagement just to fit all your details in, so not true if you are organized.

5) I HATE wedding shower games. HATE, HATE, HATE. I threatened to boycott my own shower if any were present...just because you are getting married doesn't mean you have to be a cliche bride and LOVE it all...rock it your own way. No shame in that.

6) I did all the paper products myself (with my mom). Cheaper, more fun, not terribly time consuming, just how I wanted them and they looked professional. Not too shabby.

7) I am anti the humiliating ritual of calling out all the single ladies to the floor for the flower toss...it feels way too scarlet letter to me. So I ditched it and dedicated our bouquet to my groom's parents as it was their 30th wedding anniversary this year and they didn't get a party.

8) The best man was my grooms bro...and his toast was a DISASTER. I could sum it up in two words: drunken nonsense. At first I was livid, then I got over it. I learned that day that even in-law family is real family, and I suddenly had a lot more tolerance to forgive and forget just like I would with my own brothers (not that I don't reserve the right to rub it in every now and again). Funny-and really neat- how that happens.

9) I walked myself down the aisle. Blame it on one too many Bronte sister novels I read as a young and impressionable youth, but I was disturbed by the symbolism. I am not property, nor do I need to be spoken for, and didn't like the idea of being "given" away. I walked halfway down and met my groom in the middle and we walked to the alter together. It was the sweetest moment, and it was all ours. Everyone was aghast when I told them what I was going to do, but in the end everyone agreed it was lovely. Break with tradition if you want--its your day, do it the way that feels right for you.

10) Even though hubby and I had been together 4 years, something about being married has changed our dynamic. People say marriage is just a piece of paper, but we've found that it is SO much more in ways impossible to describe and impossible to imagine living without.

Survey Says - What Should Someone Have Told You?

What is the one thing that you wish someone had told you when you got engaged? (Day #1)

Buy help! Pay the extra to get a wedding coordinator, so you can enjoy more
- Kate, married in 2007

Engagement is not that fun. It is emotionally draining and stressful. There is anxiety in realizing you are about to cement a new future, excitement you are starting a new chapter in your life, stress over money, often family conflict and pressures and planning a wedding is time consuming. If you go into knowing that the end goal is to have a family that is happy, a bride and groom that are happy, and a joyous day to celebrate your love and union, it will help keep things in perspective when times get rough
- Alyssa, married in 2007

Everyone thinks about saving money for the wedding, but don’t forget to save for the honeymoon too!
- Julie, married in 2007

Keep it personal. Don't invite guests just to invite guests. At least that's what I would advise
- Jennifer, married in 2006

Photo courtesy of Sarah Maren Photography

Top Ten Things Every Bride Should Know

#9 - Some vendors are not licensed to operate. (Verify that your vendor team is licensed to operate.—caterers, bakers, limo/transportation.)

*Ask to see licensing and certification from any vendor. Ask them: "What kind of licensing and certification do you have? May I see them please?"
(Verify that the license and/or certificate is valid and not expired.)

* Caterers (including bakeries) are required to have a valid health permit. They must be operating from a permitted food establishment, NOT a private residence.

*Food Licensing: You can contact Environmental Management Department, based on the county the vendor's facility is located. They will provide you with recent food inspection reports for said vendor. (For example: Sacramento County lists their detailed Food Inspection Reports at: www.emd.saccounty.net/ .)

* Included in this licensing issue would be employee background checks and requirements.
"What kind of background check to you require your employees to undergo?" (An example of this would be a transportation company employing someone with a history of drinking and driving.)
"Do you require your employees to complete any certification/licensing classes?"

* Check with the Better Businesses Bureau to make sure that no complaints have been filed against your vendor. (Know that anyone can file a complaint, so be sure to ask the vendor's side of the story regarding said complaint.)

Top Ten Things Every Bride Should Know

In yesterday's Wedding Class, Dynamite Weddings taught "The Top 10 Things Every Bride Should Know". We wanted to share 1 item each day for those that wanted the full notes or were unable to attend. In the spirit of The Top Ten, made so popular by David Letterman, let's start with #10:

#10 - Remember the real reason this wedding is occurring. (This one is not only addressed to the bride and groom, but all involved.)

* It's easy to get wrapped up in all the details of "a wedding", but remind yourselves this is not just a wedding, this is your wedding which is taking place to join together you and your partner, lover and friend, who compliment each other in a magical way. Don't let the planning overshadow your reason for wanting to marry this person. Take time out to enjoy each other: date nights, day trips, etc.

* This wedding is a celebration of the love and union of you and your fiance. Choose friends to participate in your wedding that can appreciate that. Your friendships may be tested while planning your wedding involving your friends. We hear more sad stories about a Bridesmaid-zillas than we do about Bridezillas. Make sure that you are choosing people for your wedding party that you can count on throughout the entire process. If you wouldn't trust them with a key to your house, then I probably wouldn't trust them to hold the wedding ring. Be careful picking friends that have a tendency to make every event about themselves or have a habit of being inappropriate. If you want those friends to be involved, give them a job that makes them important, but not in the limelight. Have them be in charge of gathering family members for pictures or making sure all the gifts, flowers, etc. make it out of the venue at the end of the reception. There's a job for everyone, just choose wisely!

Check back for #9 tomorrow. If you have some suggestions to add to our list of "Things Every Bride Should Know", please email Nicole @ info@dynamiteweddings.com . If you want to comment on the ones listed, please do so. Soon-to-bes are eager to learn from others' experiences.

Be sure to check out The Memory Journalists' blog, a Dynamite Vendor, who also taught a class yesterday, "Looking Your Best on Camera". Jennifer will be posting a tip each day from her class.

Photo courtesy of Sarah Maren Photography

Survey Says - What Advice Do You Have?

What one thing would you share with another bride who is planning her wedding to help her out (your one lesson learned)? Day #2

If you are on a budget like we were, don’t just go for the cheapest vendors. You get what you pay for. Ask for recommendations from other brides, go interview these vendors, go for tastings at caterers…..we had such a great team of vendors at our wedding. We chose people who we “clicked” with, and who were also willing to work with us within our budget (even getting a little creative in some areas to cut the cost down)
- Alison, married in 2007

It helps to realize that the little things don’t matter and the ultimate goal is to be married to your prince charming!
- Shari, married in 2005

No scented candles…we had a lot of them and the smell was overwhelming with dinner.
- Rebecca, married in 2003

Start early. Book your vendors as soon as possible. Some sites are booking up over a year in advance! If you are planning any DIY projects, start early. Most things can be made far ahead (invitations, programs, etc.). This will save you time closer to the wedding for all the last-minute details and unexpected things that come up.
- Kirsten, married in 2006

Wear comfortable shoes. It is a long day and you don't want to be miserable with aching feet!
- Erin, married in 2003

Photo courtesy of Allison Stahl Photography

Ask Marvin - Reducing My Carbon Footprint

Dear Marvin,
I would like my wedding to be as “green” (eco-friendly) as possible. Do you have any suggestions on how to reduce my carbon footprint while having the dream wedding I have always wanted?

Thanks,
An eco-conscious bride

Dear Eco-Conscious Bride,
Not only can you have the dream wedding you have always wanted, but you can make it as green as you like while still maintaining the ambiance of your choosing. For example, just by opting for non-disposable serveware, you will cut down immensely on waste while adding sophistication and elegance to your celebration. Another way to be more earth friendly is to use recycled paper for your stationary needs, such as invitations and the corresponding RSVP cards. Also, depending on the venue you choose, there may be several options available for organic catering or catering companies that support locally produced items. In addition, most catering companies will be more than happy to recycle eligible items on your special day (so don’t be afraid to ask). Fortunately, these days there are several different options available in most areas, so that you can be as environmentally friendly as you want. Who said it isn’t easy being green?

Marvin

Photo courtesy of Sharpe Photographers

Survey Says - What One Thing Would You Share?

What one thing would you share with another bride who is planning her wedding to help her out (your one lesson learned)? (Part #1)

This may sound odd, and it certainly goes against tradition, but – unless you are really superstitious, I would HIGHLY recommend planning to see your fiancée before the wedding ceremony. My nerves were escalating all morning and afternoon; when we got to our location, all I wanted to do was see him. It calmed me down immediately, and we got to have our own private moment before the big event. Plus – we had so much fun taking our photos with our bridal party and families – by the time the guests started to arrive, I was relaxed and having a great time. Also, it meant that when the ceremony was over, we didn’t have to rush off for pictures – we got to actually enjoy the cocktail hour with all of our guests, and we got to sit down and enjoy an amazing dinner. I have given this advice to two friends who have gotten married since we did, and they were both equally enthusiastic.
- Hannah, married in 2006

Don't cave to family pressure. Do it your way. It's a day that you'll never get back in your life. If you don't want something traditional-don't do it.
- Jennifer, married in 2006

I'm a total worrier. Remember what you are there for, slow down, enjoy the day, keep the process as stress free as possible so your day will be as stress free as possible and it will be the best day of your life, imperfections and all. What better way to start a new chapter than with some love and laughter? Remember to take care of yourself . The entire week before the wedding I planned to take off from work to take care of last minute things. My bridesmaids and family were so on top of things that I literally had nothing left to do (I cannot stress having people you trust help you with the planning). So how did I spend my week? I got 3 or 4 massages, and watched the entire Sex and the City series. It was one of the most relaxing weeks I've ever had!
- Melanie, married in 2007

Photo courtesy of The Memory Journalists

Survey Says - What Went Well At Your Wedding? (Part 2)

What went well at your wedding? What did you do to ensure it went well? Tips you can provide to others to make sure it goes as well.(Part 2)

Pictures. They didn't take too long..a good photographer will plan well! Tip: research your photographer very well!

- Rebecca, married in 2003

The best advice I can give is to HAVE HELP. My husband and I each had our own to-do list – I let him take charge of several aspects, including the music (he’s the musical one of the two of us), the groomsmen’s attire, the rings, etc. His being involved made the day about US – not just me, and it was a huge load off of my shoulders. Get your friends involved too – one of my husband’s best friends made our delicious wedding cake, another dear friend designed our save-the-dates and invites – having them involved made the tasks so much more fun, and personal. Also- I recommend professional coordination, too, ESPECIALLY if you are doing a destination wedding. My coordinator recommended and pulled together an amazing group of vendors who all worked together really well, plus on our wedding day, all that we had to do was show up and have a great time. The responsibility to worry about last minute details wasn’t a burden to me, my husband, my mom, or any of our guests.

- Hannah, married in 2006

I loved my wedding day and think it was executed masterfully. I am a task master, so everything was planned. Even for those who aren't so into structure, I would recommend creating a vision of what you want your day to feel like and what you want the vibe and flow of the day to be. Then create an itinerary to match your vision. Everything went so smoothly at my wedding. I think I did 3 main things right: 1. I carefully screened and hired vendors that I knew I could rely on, who had bought into my vision for my wedding and worked hard to deliver it. 2. I figured out my needs, my wants and my dislikes early on and structured my plans around them. I knew where I could compromise and where I absolutely had to have things exactly as I wanted. I created a vision and a budget and planned every detail from the colors, to the cake, to the location, to the design and my vendors around both. 3. I developed a realistic and time appropriate "day of" itinerary.

- Alyssa, married in 2007

Photo courtesy of The Memory Journalists

It's all about the food!

No big mystery here, I LOVE FOOD! My husband and I worked our wedding entirely around food as our top priority, so I thought I'd share a bit of the with you all.

Working with your caterer and communicating your vision is so important. An initial phone conversation and taking a look at their website can be a great, initial, way of managing expectations. Before you sit down with your caterer to set up a tasting, make sure you have reasonable expectations about what it will cost to meet your goal and accomplish your vision.

We knew we wanted to do a wine dinner for our reception. Typically wine dinners are 5-7 courses, but the portions are smaller and the platings more elegant. Sequoia Restaurant has a wine dinner every month and as it happened they were having a David Girard wine dinner three months before our event. Perfect. We used that event as a guideline and then substituted a couple of wines and had Dave Bagley (General Manager and Executive Chef) offer up suggestions to match. He's a genius! Here is the end result.

Appetizers: Black Rice Timbale Rolls, Veal Stuffed Mushrooms and Pan Seared Scallops (which were so good they were all gone before Beth got a chance to take a picture of them!) served with Madroña Gewürztraminer and an open bar.

Artichoke Bisque served with David Girard Coeur Du Terroir Blanc.

Mushroom & Brie Duck Confit, Poached Quail Egg, Wild Greens & Blood Orange Vinaigrette served with Boeger
Migliore.

Prosciutto Wrapped Ahi Bordelaise served with David Girard Grenache.

Cucumber Mint Sorbet Served with Cristalino Cava .

Tuscan White Bean Ragu served with David Girard Syrah.

Tip - Know Your Limit

Your wedding day is a BIG day! And if you are easily rattled, you could wake up in knots. That third mimosa or glass of Chardonnay may sound like a great idea but just be careful. You don't want to be the bride wobbling at the altar or falling asleep. Drink one glass of water in between each alcoholic drink to keep yourself hydrated and walking a straight line!

Tip provided by Dynamite Weddings
Photo courtesy of Sarah Maren Photography