Blast from the oh so recent past

While I was engaged I started blogging. I blogged my experience and what happened to me and how I felt. So I want to share with you some of my thoughts during my engagment.

Reasons I am marrying B

We had premarital counseling today and I came up with a few reasons as to why I am marrying B.

1. He's hot. Well, he is. And you have to look at your husband once in a while.
2. Every once in awhile he surprises me. When I least expect it he surprises me.
3. In total contrast he is steady. To many this would seem boring but knowing that B will be the same, steady man that I have known from the beginning comforts me and makes me feel secure.
4. He is funny. Again, when least expected he will break out his funny side and I can't stop laughing. i.e. the booty dance.
5. TRUST, TRUST, TRUST. I know that B would NEVER intentionally hurt me. I'm not saying that he won't ever hurt me but B would never intentionally set out to make me unhappy.
6. He thinks about me. Everyday when I talk to him I feel like he is thinking about me more and more.
7. Being engaged is not easy and he makes it so much easier. Since we got engaged and I feel that we are more ENGAGED.

I love this man. I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE him. Everyday I love him more. And I feel comfortable knowing that I feel we are going into our marriage with our eyes wide open. We are entering into a COVENANT not a CONTRACT. We are choosing to be committed and choosing each other to love. We are choosing each for better or worse, richer or poorer, in sickness or in health. That's forever folks. And I can't wait.

Trend - Create Your Own Luxury Venue...Elegant Tenting

Many brides are choosing to have their weddings at home in the backyard under a canopy tent. Tents can be customized with lighting and fabric to accent the overall look and theme of your wedding. Instead of using a white pleated liner, you can also swag the tent in different colored fabrics. If your wedding colors are fuchsia and apple green, then you can have your tent draped in fuchsia and apple green satin fabric.

Trend and photo provided by Celebrations! Elegant Party Rentals

Tip - Know Your Guest List, Know Your Venue

Before you start visiting locations for your wedding, you should really narrow down your guest list to have a good feel for your actual numbers. Most couples tend to overestimate at the start of planning. We suggest to separate your guest list into your “in town” and “out of town” list. You will generally have just 75-80% of your in-town guests attend and 10-20% of your out-of-town guests attend! Make appointments to meet the owner or manager of the locations you are considering. Compare “apples to apples”. Every facility & vendor charges differently. Ask for a list of everything that is included. Bringing in linens, china, glassware & other items needed in an empty space can add up quickly. And after you have narrowed down your choices, ask for a complete written quote in the same format as a final invoice so that you are clear on everything. You certainly don’t want to be surprised later. Don’t be afraid to visit with locations or vendors that you initially think you can’t afford. Sometimes their services are so inclusive that you may end up spending less than you might think.

Tip provided by Newcastle Wedding Gardens

Photo courtesy of Sharpe Photographers

Survey Says - What Went Wrong, If Anything?

What went wrong at your wedding, if anything? And knowing now, was there anything you'd recommend to others to avoid those pitfalls?

Having a list of all the pictures you want- which family combinations (we forgot both of our families together!) Other than that, everything went really well.

- Julie, married in 2007

I can think of one pre-wedding day disaster that we managed to side step: our accommodations. I made the mistake of booking based on location (the inn was within walking distance of our location) and the fact that our coordinator hadn’t had any complaints. Luckily, my insightful future mother & sis-in-law stopped by and discovered that what looked perfectly fine on the outside had gone to rack and ruin on the inside. We still had time to cancel and find better lodging. Lesson learned – if you absolutely can’t visit yourself, really do some research!

- Hannah, married in 2006

I think the thing for brides to keep in mind is that there are things that will not go to plan. The big idea is to keep those things minimal, and to not put so much stock in them as to allow it to ruin the rest of a very beautiful day. Plan the big stuff, make sure certain people are responsible for specific tasks/events/etc. so that the big stuff goes to plan. The less stress I had, the better. You just have to go into it knowing and expecting that something won't go exactly as planned, and that's ok.

- Melanie, married in 2007

Only one minor thing went wrong. The original marriage license went missing. It had been in the care of our officient and he couldn’t locate it after the ceremony. This disrupted photos and stressed me out. It would have helped to have designated someone to handle unexpected things that came up throughout the day.

- Kirsten, married in 2006

People got out of control drunk…only serve wine and bee, no hard liquor.

- Rebecca, married in 2003

Photo courtesy of Profinish Design

Advice from a self-proclaimed wedding aficionado

At this point in my life, I consider myself to be quite the wedding aficionado. Want credentials? By all means…in the past year and a half I planned my own wedding, attended 11 weddings, was a bridesmaid in 6 weddings and hubby was a groomsman in 2. Additionally, I planned/decorated/attended 12 bridal showers, 7 bachelorette parties, and 6 engagement parties. That’s 36 events in 30 months. And, I already have 3 on the calendar for 2008. I feel very confident in saying that I know a little something about putting together a memorable event. My top 6 (+ 1) things to consider…

Customize & Personalize. You’ve all heard the expression “the devil is in the details”…well so are the memories. This is YOUR wedding, infuse your you-ness into it; make it an event only you and your groom could have that tells your special story.

Our guest "Escort Cards": My favorite poetry collections and personalized bookmarks

Pamper your guests. This could be greeting boxes, special foods, large drink selections, dessert bars, and thoughtful gifts. It also means ensuring there is proper air/heat depending on the season and providing a variety of entertainment so all age groups enjoy.

Picture of the bubblicious from our nostaligic candy bar.

Modernize. Weddings aren’t quite so cookie cutter, quite so frilly, or even quite so white these days. There is not only room for the modern diva and non-conventional elements, such as a unique dress or color scheme, but guests love it and will always remember how special your wedding was.

My unique Osterich feather wedding dress, Miosa Couture

Utilize all 6 senses. People experience through sight, hearing, smell, taste, and touch. I’ll add one more—emotion; they remember how they feel. Stimulate all the senses—using color, texture, music, words, scents (candles, flowers, foods, even air fresheners), food & beverages, lighting, flowers, table decorations, your vows and speeches—to give you and your guests a night to remember.

Our reception decorations

Budget, budget, budget. Even if the sky is the limit, you should do your research and know the reasonable price for all services. That way you get the best bang for your buck and honest vendors…who are likely the most reliable too. No one wants a vendor nightmare on their wedding day, and ‘happily ever after’s’ really shouldn’t start in debt.

Know what you want out of your honeymoon. You are going to welcome the post-wedding planning down time. If you envision a romantic, relaxing honeymoon traveling through Europe may not be the best option. If you envision a fun party time with your new hubby, you may want to steer clear of remote islands.

Us at a local street fair on our pamper-filled honeymoon to Palm Springs

Bonus advice: Realize it’s your wedding, but people who love you have lives too. If your best friend can’t make it to your bachelorette because she’s swamped at work, don’t sweat it. She’s not secretly sabotaging your big day. She loves you, but may just really not be able to get the time off. If you sense tension with your bridesmaids, consider what you are asking of them. Is it maybe too expensive for some (I spent $5,000 on other people’s weddings in 30 months). Are you being too Bride-zilla or pushing off too much of the work on them? Just remember your closest friends and family are always excited for you and love you, no matter what. Trust me, having been both bride and bridesmaid I can sympathize with the needs and

emotions of both sides.

My beautiful, accomodating bridesmaids...and best friends ever.

**All my wedding Photographs are courtesy of The Memory Journalists.

Ignite the Flame - Intimate Reminders

Remember to take time for the two of you and remind each other why you got married:

• If you do your husband's laundry take the opportunity to tuck little notes into his clothes. Then when he goes to put that Superman t-shirt on he will know you think he is your Superman!
• Set aside one night a week that is just for the two of you. That means dinner with no phones, TV or interruptions. Just enjoy each other's company. You don't have to go broke to have a romantic evening. You have everything you need right in your own place! Light every candle you own. Break out that fondue pot you got for your wedding and greet your husband at the door wearing something very "comfortable". :-)
• Plan a PJ day. Lock your day and stay on the couch all day together. Cuddle up and watch movies, all those season of 24 your just bought or whatever strikes your fancy. Order pizza and keep it easy. Just be together.

Photo courtesy of The Memory Journalists

Cloud Nine - Budgeting For Two

Budgeting 101

The wedding is over. Your life together has begun. You share dreams for your future yet you have different bank accounts, different spending habits, and different ideas of “essentials”. Every couple is faced with the struggle of combining their finances and managing their money. If you have specific goals such as buying a house or traveling, you may want to evaluate your financials sooner rather than later. Whether you choose to combine your bank accounts or keep them separate, the best thing you can do for yourselves is to create a unified budget and stick to it.

It starts with understanding of your fixed monthly expenses (rent, car payments, student loans, insurance, utilities, etc.). Tally that up and add your variable monthly expenses like groceries, gas, clothing, dining out etc. Don’t forget to include small frequent purchases (such as coffee). Over time, these can really add up. Subtract all expenses from your monthly income and voila, you have the amount you should be saving. Look back through your list of expenses and determine ways you can trim. Maybe one latte per week is sufficient? Maybe you can switch one night of dining out for dining in? Maybe you can get a family cell phone plan and save? You can use personal budgeting software such as Quicken (http://www.quicken.com/) or just track your budget and spending in a spreadsheet. Kiplinger also has an online worksheet to get you started (www.kiplinger.com/tools/budget/).

Photo courtesy of Profinish Design

Ask Marvin - Tradition vs. Trend

Dear Marvin,
I'm a modern bride getting married in an old-fashioned church. My bridesmaids really want to wear strapless dresses. I must admit, they are the most flattering on all of their figures, and really cute. The problem is my mom is driving me crazy about how inappropriate it would be, and how upset it will make my grandmother. I'm not even sure if strapless or halter dresses are allowed in the church. But, my bridesmaids are footing the bill and I feel awkward telling them they have to buy something they hate. What should I do? I don't want to upset my family or church, but I don't want to upset my friends either.
Help!

Signed,
Strapped with Confusion

Dear Strapped,
First off, it is your wedding day and your friends are there to support you as part of your special day. If that means wearing a yellow feathered dress to a carnival themed wedding, so be it. That's what friends are for. That said, it is lovely (and so un-bridezilla) of you to listen to their desires. I happen to agree that it is better for all, and far less stressful on friendships, when bridesmaids are happy. But it is not good for anyone when mothers and grandmothers are upset; and it is certainly never good etiquette to be disrespectful in places that many hold sacred.
Lucky for you, I have just the solution to your problem and it doesn't require upsetting anyone. If you are having an evening or Fall or Winter wedding, give each of your bridesmaids a pashmina (or similar) wrap as a thank you gift. Buy the wraps in a color that coordinates with your wedding and the dresses so they can wear it during the ceremony. After, they can take it off at the reception and party in their pretty strapless gowns. They come away with a lovely gesture that they can actually wear again (I don't care what anyone says: NO ONE wears a bridesmaid dress twice, just ask Goodwill). You get to be the bride that saved the day; and who doesn't love playing hero! If you are having a spring or summer wedding and a wrap would be to warm, you could achieve the same affect with a cute bolero jacket.

Best wishes,
Marvin

Photo courtesy of The Memory Journalists

Trend - Massage Your Worries Away

Many brides are taking a break before the big day by taking their bridesmaids to a local spa for a spa party. Spa parties give the girls some time for a massage or facial, just to relax by the pool as a group. It’s a perfect bride's retreat from the planning of her wedding.

Trend provided by Profinish Design
Photo courtesy of Sharpe Photographers

Tip - Contracts, contracts, contracts...

Put all the details of your agreement with your videographer in writing. The contract should cover the date, ceremony and reception locations, special add-ons, fees, coverage hours, number of cameras, and number of copies. Also make sure you discuss the difference between manned and unmanned cameras. Some packages say two or more cameras are included, but might include only one operator, and the remaining camera is put on a stationary tripod.

Tip provided by Sheffield Multimedia
Photo courtesy of Sharpe Photographers

Trend - Hors D' Oeuvres vs. Buffet

Forget the tradition of sit down, wait to be dismissed and stand in a buffet line. Have different food stations with heavy hors d’ Oeuvres and light entrées.

Allow your guests to move and mingle while eating continuously. Offer a few low tables for the older generation and bridal party, but scatter cocktail tables throughout, it gives the feeling of movement and is very modern.

Trend provided by Quarry Ponds

Photo courtesy of Allison Stahl

Tip - Don't Need a Full-Time Coordinator...How About By the Hour?

Did you know that wedding planners can be hired for advice and direction on an hourly basis? Don’t hesitate to hire a wedding planner for guidance and to double-check that you are on track. They have the knowledge and can easily answer lingering questions.

They are often available for design ideas and theme development to get you started. What better way for a “do-it-herself-bride” to start planning her perfect wedding on a budget than with the guidance of a wedding planner?

Tip provided by Arcularius Events

Photo courtesy of Sharpe Photographers

Featured Wedding - Amanda & Matt Ginsburg

Some Boys Aren’t Yucky

The Meeting
Amanda had long ago abandoned the idea of meeting that one person who is your exact compliment…your soul mate for lack of a better term. Then she met Matt. Amanda was introduced to this guy who seemed nice enough, but having been hurt before, Amanda wasn’t easily, nor quickly impressed.

Matt persevered. While she still was afraid, waiting for the other shoe to drop, she finally felt like she found a boy that wasn’t so yucky.

The Proposal
It had only been a year, but Amanda felt like they knew each other forever. They were planning a weekend away together to Carmel - a repeat of a similar trip the prior October. Amanda knew something was up – Matt was acting all weird and fidgety. And Faith, Amanda’s 7 year old daughter, was acting like she knew a secret that she wasn’t suppose to tell. Unbeknown to Amanda, Matt had taken Faith out for ice cream that day and asked her for her permission to marry Amanda.

Matt and Amanda decided to take a stroll along the beach. It was such a beautiful day with the sun shining and the waves gently crashing on the beach. After sitting for what seemed like an eternity of silence at an outcropping of rocks, Matt took a deep breath and maneuvered himself onto one knee. He proceeded to say he had waited his whole life to find Amanda and that she was everything he had ever wished for in a woman. He asked her to marry him. Although this was one of the most emotional experiences of her life, she somehow found her voice and said yes. Amanda remembers looking at the ring on her hand and feeling a sense of awe. Not only was this ring a symbol of their love and future together, but also a symbol of a past love. The ring had belonged to Matt’s grandmother and was given to him by his grandfather once Matt decided he was going to propose to Amanda. It meant so much to both of them that this ring had been a part of a happy and lasting beautiful love story.

The Wedding Day (October 13, 2007)
It was a crazy day; a whirlwind of a morning, lack of sleep and nutrition. Amanda had been up until 4am writing her vows to Matt, only to be awakened at 7am to start the day’s activities. But remembering to breathe was the secret. As the ceremony approached, Amanda knew the day was perfect. She was there with Matt and with Faith and that is all that mattered to her.

The most moving part of their ceremony was when Matt and Amanda took a few moments to say their vows to Faith and gave her an engraved locket as a symbol of their promises and love.

The reception was a blast! They had the staples of a great party: good food, good drink and fabulous people. Amanda remembers feeling so fortunate to have such wonderful family and friends to share in their special day. And, yes. When it was all over, she wished they could have done it again.

Photographer: The Memory Journalists
Coordinator: KTL Events
Ceremony/Reception Site: Stanford Oaks
Caterer: Bacio Catering
Officiant: Grace Church
Bridal Salon/Tux Rental: Bella Donna Bridal Salon
Bridesmaids Attire: House of Fashion
Florist: Event Coordination & Floral Design Service
Bakery: Upper Crust
Hair Stylist: Dimensions
Makeup: Powder Room

Spotlight On Interview- Blooms by Martha Andrews

We had the opportunity to sit down with Martha Andrews of Blooms, a Dynamite Vendor, and ask her a few questions to get to know her better. Here's what we learned about Martha. Enjoy!

I also like to create… Desserts.

My first job ever was… yard duty for elementary school, I was 14.

The biggest wedding I ever designed for… A million dollar+ wedding with 2 ceremonies in one day with 800 people attending both the bride changed 5 times and there were 3 complete flower change outs, all new arrangements and colors during the day.

My favorite flower is… Depends on the day.

The easiest item to incorporate into floral designs… rhinestones and feathers.

Gardening at my house is… lots of flower beds, an acre of lawn and so behind it’s not even funny

When bringing a housewarming gift I usually bring… wine.

When I go to the wholesale market… It takes me forever because I change my order all around to make sure I get what looks best, I also add whatever fun stuff happens to be in that day. I know I’m a pain but I try to bring homemade cookies to take the edge off for the staff.

My first wedding was… when I was 7 helping my mom who was a wedding coordinator. I ironed table cloths, polished the sterling silver, etc…

When I buy flowers for my home, I buy… I don’t, I use whatever is leftover.

If I wasn’t a florist, I would be… a midwife.

Two items necessary for any floral design are… a knife and floral glue.

My favorite movie is… Love Actually.

If I could donate more time, I would… Build more houses in Mexico.

Something overrated in floral design concepts… trumpet vases.

Something people may be surprised to find out is...I have been married 24 years, I was a child bride J I am the mother of 7 children, all mine and my husbands, yes we know what causes that, we like it, we call ourselves passionate protestants (that’s to answer the endless times people have asked if we are catholic or Mormon)

My biggest fear...The first 20 years as a wedding designer I would have the same dream the week before an event, I’m not exaggerating. I would wake up and it would be Sunday and I would realize I had a wedding to deliver. So I would race to the wholesaler, that was closed, break in and find the only flowers they had were straw flowers. I would grab them get to the church just in time to shove a handful of the strawflowers in the bridesmaid’s hands as they started down the aisle. I haven’t had the dream for 5 years!

Photo courtesy of The Memory Journalists

Spotlight On Interview - A Day to Remember

We were able to sit down with Lora Ward of A Day to Remember Wedding Consultants, a Dynamite Vendor, and ask her some questions to get to know her better. Here's what we learned about Lora. Enjoy! The one item of clothing I can’t live without…for relaxation – a slightly tattered “moo-moo.” I hate anything around my waist when I wish to be comfortable. For professional needs – a pair of black pants with pockets (I can’t work a wedding without pockets).

My first job was…babysitting (age 10). The first “real paying” job was as a legal secretary for a law office.

If I wasn’t a planner, I would be…It’s hard to imagine not being an “alpha female” but after all these many years, I long to sit in a lush, beautifully landscaped garden, and mindlessly flip magazine pages (naturally a wedding magazine!).

My top favorite item to incorporate into event design...emotion (includes laughter, happy tears, sentimentality, anticipation and even awkward embarrassment.)

The CD currently playing in my car is…a collection of funk, disco and old school – the 70’s were my formative dancin’ years!

The most extravagant wedding I ever planned was…I have enjoyed coordinating many wonderful weddings, however, one of the more beautiful and a bit on the “extravagant” side was one held on a hillside above the Pacific Ocean, at the beautiful Bacara Resort & Spa in Santa Barbara, CA. All guests wore white, the groom entered the ceremony riding a beautiful white horse, the bride enjoyed two wedding gowns, white doves were released, the guests dined on a 6 course dinner in a stunning theatrically lighted room, the wedding cake was taller than the groom, and the evening’s entertainment was a famous Flamenco guitarist flown in for the reception.

Tea or coffee? Wine or Beer? Plain or Peanut? Never coffee… unless it has Amaretto, whipped cream and chocolate slivers on top! Cold crisp Chardonnay. Mounds over Almond Joy.

If I could plan a wedding anywhere in the world it would be….if I could take a great group of Sacramento vendors with me, I would coordinate anywhere… the difficulty is creating a fabulous team in other cities (teamwork is essential). I love mountains and forests and am particularly fond of The Broadmoor in Colorado Springs.

If I could plan any famous person’s wedding, it would be…hummm, Martha Stewart isn’t married? That could be an interesting challenge. I wonder if she would bring in magazine pictures to show me her inspiration?

My business goal for this year is…to grind through and keep my head above water during this economic downturn.

My food weakness is…bread, potatoes, pasta.

My biggest pet peeve is…Porta potties (sorry, but I do hate them!)
The website or blog that I visit most often, besides my own, is…Dynamite Weddings, of course! Generally, I’m too busy to stare at the computer unless I’m pumping out work for my clients.

My next vacation will be… a fall foliage tour of the New England states – to include covered bridges, white clapboard churches, and old cemeteries. When can I leave?

Photo courtesy of The Memory Journalists